Conveyor Belt to Certain DOOM
by BananaBirdNova
Summary: By Bananabird AND Nova. Ever wonder what Jazz, Cliffjumper, Spike, and Bumblebee were doing after they got eaten by Unicron? While they were waiting to die? Before Daniel rescued them? Well, now you know.


A/N: So Bananabird came over to visit for the weekend and as we were on our way to watch Age of Extinction (go see, btw, we loved it : )) we came up with this little piece of madness. Don't ask how. ; )

This little thing fills in a gap from the original 1986 movie, between the moon bases getting eaten (along with Jazz, Cliffjumper, Spike and Bumblebee) by Unicron and when Daniel finds them.

* * *

"We're getting sucked in!"

The ship shuddered again under an impact from a chunk of what used to be Cybertron's second moon and one of two very important Autobot outposts, fighting the inexorable pull from the strange, cosmic body behind them. Bumblebee was desperately trying to get out any sort of communication to Earth or Cybertron, to warn someone, _anyone_, but the ship's communication system was completely down as it took more and more damage from the flying debris around it.

And then the ship gave up altogether and they were swallowed whole by the gaping mouth, not knowing what their fate would be once they entered the darkness beyond.

They were both thrown to the floor and then the wall as the ship was tossed around like nothing more than a small stone, finally landing belly-up and settling. Spike and Bumblebee remained still for a minute or two, recovering from the harsh impact.

"Do you think it's safe to go out?" Spike wondered in hushed tones.

"I don't know… Better than waiting in here for something to find us, right?" his friend replied while they both staggered to their feet.

"Guess so…" the human agreed dubiously.

Cautiously, the two of them pried the door open, finding the ship without power, and peered out. Everything was dark, but from what they could see with the glow of their headlights, it looked like they had landed in a giant junkyard of some sort. When nothing fell from the sky after several moments of waiting they dared to venture out.

And almost instantly got snatched up by mechanical claws. They barely had time to react before stasis fields surrounded them, locking their subspace and transformation abilities as well as severely restricting their mobility. The next thing they knew, they were whisked away and into a long line of mechs suspended from a conveyor belt of claws.

"What just happened? What is this?" Spike demanded, still somewhat disoriented from the crash.

Bumblebee was about to express his own confusion when a very familiar voice interrupted him from behind.

"Oh. Hey there, Bee, Spike. Fancy meetin' you guys here." Jazz greeted casually.

* * *

Cliffjumper was still struggling to overcome the stasis field around the claw that held him five hours later.

Jazz watched listlessly from beside him on the conveyor belt. "Y'know, mech, ya're gonna give y'self a hernia if y'keep that up."

"WHAT THE FRACK IS A HERNIA?!" the red mech yelled back, squirming with renewed energy at the comment.

"Can you guys even _get_ hernias?" Spike asked from the front of the line.

Bumblebee chuckled weakly right behind him. "Dunno, but Cliff's gonna bust _some_thing if he doesn't chill out."

"HOW CAN YOU GUYS CHILL OUT AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!"

"Cause we already tried everythin' we can think of and it ain't worked yet. I don't think wigglin' all around'll help much. Might as well give it a rest."

"Just…gotta…get…a fracking… GUN!" The minibot growled to himself. Cliffjumper continued to struggle for another minute while the other three watched with varying levels of amusement before the red minibot suddenly went limp.

"This is _so_ unfair." He muttered.

"Y'tellin' me, mech!" Jazz agreed with a depressed chuckle.

A few moments of relative silence passed between the four comrades as they were steadily carted along deep within Unicron's chassis before Jazz looked around again, straining to catch a glimpse of what was up ahead.

"So, where y'guys think this thing's headed?" he asked casually.

"I don't know." Spike said after a moment. He grimaced slightly. "But I think I can hear screaming up ahead."

As the group stilled, the faint sounds became obvious to all four of them and worried glances were exchanged.

"Fan-_tastic_." Cliffjumper grumbled.

"Sooo… I guess this isn't actually a planet, is it?" Bumblebee speculated.

Jazz gave him a look. "And how long y'had that degree in statin' the obvious, mech?"

"Well, I'm just saying…"

When the yellow minibot trailed off there was another moment of grim silence. The screams grew steadily louder and clearer as they each contemplated the unpleasant situation. And then…

"Ah spy with my little eye…"

All three of the others who hadn't spoken turned to stare at Jazz uncomprehendingly, wondering if the saboteur had finally snapped.

"What? Might as well do _somethin'_ while we're waitin' to die."

"You are _so_ messed up." Cliffjumper stated.

"Well, our other option is to just hang here and imagine all the horrible ways this little ride could end fo' us, an' I'd rather do this. So. Ah spy with my little eye… somethin' yellow."

"…Is it Bumblebee?" Spike asked flatly.

"Sure is!" Jazz grinned. "You're turn."

Spike gave the Porche an unreadable look before turning away. "I spy… I can't believe I'm doing this… I spy something purple."

For a moment even _Cliffjumper_ looked around for something purple.

"WHY THE FRACK ARE WE PLAYING SOME STUPID _GAME?!_" the red mech suddenly exploded, flailing against the stasis field yet again. "I WILL NOT DIE PLAYING SOME STUPID LITTLE KID'S GAME!"

Jazz leaned out as much as he was able to grin at Spike. "Is it th' dude in front of ya?"

Spike returned a wan smile. "Yup. Your turn again."

"Well Ah spy somethin' frothing at the mouth." The Autobot said matter-of-factly.

Bumblebee smirked at his boss. "Cliffjumper."

"Bingo! Your turn, my mech."

Bumblebee glanced around for something to 'spy', but the interior of the strange not-planet was rather bland and there wasn't much to see, other than themselves and the other unfortunate mechs on the line. As he was searching for a suitable object, the conveyor belt turned a final corner and the screams became much clearer, along with the smell of acid and the metal it was dissolving away.

"I spy something green." The yellow spy said softly.

Everybody leaned out to look at what the minibot had seen, and for a moment nobody said anything.

"Is it that GIANT VAT OF ACID AT THE END OF THE LINE?! IS THAT IT?!" Cliffjumper hollered, kicking his legs in a fit of frustration at his inability to simply _pull a gun and shoot himself free._

"Yeah. That's it." Bumblebee replied quietly.

Cliffjumper ranted mostly incoherently in the background as Spike, Bumblebee, and Jazz watched an unfortunate mech drop into the vat of acid, screaming in fear and then pain.

"I think I'm gonna be sick. Which would just make this whole thing even more miserable, wouldn't it? Can I just say that now I know how all those chickens in the slaughter houses feel?" Spike muttered.

"Anybody have any more ideas?" Bumblebee asked.

When nobody said anything after a minute of wracking brain and processors, Jazz turned to Cliff, who was still yelling his helm off.

"Your turn, Cliff." He said seriously.

Cliffjumper just screamed something at the saboteur and tried his best to kick the mech in front of him. Jazz watched the minibot struggle futilely for a moment and then turned to the two people in front of him.

"Alright. Time for a new game. Let's play 20 questions."

The Autobot and the human stared at the Head of Special Operations for a few seconds as the conveyor belt moved them quickly along toward their certain doom, and the Autobot third in command met their gazes calmly, with a sad little smile touching his face.

"Sorry guys." He told them softly. "That's the best I got." He nodded. "I'm thinkin' of somethin'."

For another moment there was just the screaming of mechs going to their deaths.

Spike cleared his throat. "Is it a person?"

"Nope."

"A place?" Bumblebee asked.

"Nope."

"A thing?" Spike asked.

"Yup."

There was a thoughtful silence, punctuated by screaming further along the line.

"Is it… alive?" Spike asked.

"Nope."

"Cybertronian?" Bumblebee asked.

"Yup."

"Do I know what it is?" Spike asked.

"Sure do!" the saboteur grinned mischievously, though it was rather subdued.

Another thoughtful silence commenced. The screaming seemed not as loud now.

"Y'wanna know what I'm thinking of? THAT GIANT VAT OF ACID JUST UP AHEAD!" Cliffjumper suddenly put in. He was dutifully ignored.

"Can you use it? Like as a tool?" Bumblebee asked.

"Mmm…no."

"A weapon?" Spike asked.

"Nope."

"A Cybertronian thing, not alive, not a tool, not a weapon…" Spike recapped.

"Can you go inside it?" Bumblebee asked.

Jazz chuckled a bit. "Naw."

"Can you… Drink it?" Spike asked.

Jazz grinned again. "Yup."

"Energon!" the human guessed.

Jazz's grin only got wider. "Close, but no cy-gar."

Bumblebee narrowed his optics at his grinning commander and then snorted, starting to grin back and giving the white and black mech a sardonic look. "Is it high-grade?"

"Sure is! Could really use some 'bout now, too." The mech added thoughtfully. Spike snickered while Bumblebee just shook his helm. "K, your turn Bee." Jazz passed off the game, still grinning.

Bumblebee thought for a moment and then nodded. "Alright, go."

"Person?"

"Nope."

"Place?"

"Well… it is now, sort of."

Jazz gave the yellow mech a look. "Yes or no, Bee."

"Alright fine, yes, it is a place."

"On Cybertron?"

"Nope."

"Earth?"

"Yes."

"A place in America?"

"Yup."

"Is it…in Oregon?" Spike guessed.

"Uh huh."

"Autobot City?"

"No."

"Darn." Jazz muttered.

"Am I seriously the ONLY ONE HERE CONCERNED ABOUT THE GIANT VAT OF ACID RAPIDLY APPROACHING?!" Cliffjumper demanded into the momentary pause.

Jazz finally turned to the mech behind him. "Naw, Cliff, you're not. But we've already tried everythin' we can think of. You really wanna go out screamin'?"

A shriek of raw terror not too far ahead punctuated the Autobot's words.

"Well I certainly don't want to go quietly the way you all seem willing to go!" the minibot retorted heatedly.

Jazz just shook his helm.

"Is it The Ark?" Spike asked Bumblebee.

The yellow mech smiled. "Yeah. It is."

Spike gave a lopsided grin back. "Yeah, I miss the old place, too."

Bumblebee nodded to his good friend. "You're turn, Spike."

"There's only ten people ahead of us now, you guys know that, right?" Cliffjumper pointed out.

"We can count, Cliff." Jazz drawled without looking back. "Go ahead, Spike."

Spike was quiet for another moment and then nodded. "Alright, I've got something I've been thinking about for a while, actually."

"Is it a person?" Bumblebee asked softly.

"Yeah."

"Is it Daniel?" Cliffjumper asked gruffly, suddenly deciding to join the game.

"Yes. It is." Spike murmured. The acid pit was very close now. They would be dropped in very soon; only a few more unfortunates like them to go. "My little boy. I wish I could see him one last time before…"

A flood of water into the chamber interrupted him and the four comrades looked up to see…

"Daniel?!"

"DAD!"


End file.
